Once Upon a Digiworld
by PhoenixFire Lia
Summary: Stuck in the computer room on a rainy day with a broken digiport, the younger kids have to listen to Yamato and Taichi tell odd stories about some of their lesser-known adventures.


Once Upon a Digiworld

Why do I do this to myself?

**As if I already have enough unfinished fanfics, let's add more. This is kind of a more mature "Disasterpiece Theater," just bits, pieces, odds and ends of random fanfics that float into my head that would make good one shots. Lots of yaoi. Oh, lots of it. In fact, I've decided that I like Taito. Yeah, I still like Sorato, but thanks to Nicki's cajoling and some very well written Taito fanfics, I'm jumping about. Actually, this first piece _is _a Taito…sorta; based on a random doujinshi I found somewhere. I OWN NOTHING! MWAHAHA!**

            They were bored, the six neo-Digidestined, as they've begun to call themselves even though everything's all over and there have been no new threats since that damn Diaboromon came back and rampaged throughout the Internet…but that only happened in Japan and the author's too poor to have anything other than some random screen shots from the movie. Yeah, life was pretty slow for the younger folk. The most exciting thing that's happened thus far is Miyako running around shrilling like a harpy because she found out the four self-appointed leaders of Chosen Children young and old dated each other, at some point in time. Well, not in the sense that's being conveyed. Can you really picture Taichi dating Daisuke? Or Ken? Or _Yamato _dating Daisuke? Heavens forbid! No, it's an unofficial rule that the begoggled leader dates the angsty second-in-command of their respective season somewhere in there. Now, as we were saying, the younger folk were going out of their skulls trying to find something to do. 

            It was raining, really hard. The kind of pounding rain that hurts when it splashes against the skin. The group of six was in that ever-ready junior high computer room, with their digimon partners. Along with them happened to be Yagami Taichi and Ishida Yamato, as well as their respective companions, just because no proper Digimon fanfic is without either of them. Or Koushiro. Koushiro was in the corner fiddling with _their computer. _That one they always use to enter the Digital World? You know which one. 

"Sorry guys, the digiport is all out of whack and until Gennai and I fix it, you're stuck on this side," he stated, for once not speaking in his befuddling technical jargon. 

"So what are we going to do now?" Takeru asked, tipping his white bucket hat back. 

Ken nodded. "It's Friday, Mama will be expecting me home soon."

The boy genius, having been tormented for his intellect and love of a certain goggled Odaiba boy, transferred out of the Tamachi school system and attended Odaiba with his friends instead. He lived with Daisuke from Sunday afternoon to Friday afternoon. 

"Well…Yamato, Koushiro and I could tell you some of our more…interesting adventures from our day," Taichi suggested. 

"No! Please don't, Onii-chan!" Hikari and Takeru cried to their respective siblings, changing more colors than an Everlasting Gobstopper.  

Yamato shook his head. "No, I think this is a good idea. Any specific misadventure in mind, fearless leader?"

Taichi grinned, almost sadistically. "Oh yeah. It happened like this…"

~*~

**Unless otherwise interrupted, this shall be from Taichi's narration. Continue! **

            It happened not that long after returning to the Digital World after an impromptu visit home…you remember that, Agumon? It was the first time we used the Crest of Courage to make you digivolve to Metalgreymon and it ripped a hole in space and time!

"Oh, that thing with the see-through Ogremon! Right, I remember!"

Hikari nodded. "I remember that time too. You made me an omelet, Onii-chan, and the surprising part was that it tasted good."

"Hey! I'm trying to tell a story here! Anyway, where was I? Oh, right…"

We had only just returned to the Digital World and met up with Tokomon, who explained that everybody had split up to go find us. Thanks to some underhanded dealings by one Picodevimon…

"Who?" Iori interrupted. 

"Small digimon, large mouth," Patamon supplied. 

…Exactly. So thanks to Picodevimon, Takeru was convinced that Tokomon hated him and that Yamato…who had gone off to find me and not returned…was never coming back for him. We shut that flying feather duster up pretty quickly. 

            Now, since it wasn't right for a small, impressionable, highly sensitive eight-year-old and his Patamon to be left all by himself, I took it upon myself to act as older brother pro tempore…especially since Takeru started bawling and begged me to.

"What?! I did not!" Takeru cried indignantly. 

"Oh, you did so," Agumon pointed out. "You said you hated Yamato and wanted Taichi to be your brother."

"I love you too, Otouto-chan," Yamato said cynically.

            So we got into one of those swan-shaped paddleboats and went off to find everyone, because Chosen Children is plural, meaning we needed to have a team. Despite my attempts at counseling, Takeru was still pretty convinced that he'd never see his older brother again…if it were me an' you, Hikari, I know you'd be excited. And I admit, Yamato was still pretty sketchy on the whole 'older brother' concept at the time, seeing as how he was either overly protective or overly aloof towards him. Personally I had it in my head that he probably _did_ dump the little squeaker off, grab Gabumon and run. But…"

"Taichi!" Yamato yelped. "You know perfectly well I had every intention on coming back!"

"Oh, well if you're so knowledgeable, _you _tell it."

"Fine, I will…"

And with that, narration changes to a blonder point of view. Somebody start playing "Run with the Wind" in the background. 

            I was worried, as every good second-in-command should be. Taichi had left under mysterious circumstances, a large explosion and the defeat of a rather annoying singing orange monkey. I had been thrust into the position of leader quite suddenly, and had no idea what I was going to do. I knew the others were criticizing me because I was too analytical, I needed to assess the problem before rushing in. We were unanimous in the decision to scour the Digital World for Taichi and Agumon…but our methods differed too greatly, and one by one everyone left. When we got to the lake, something seemed to be screaming at me to cross it, that part of my destiny lay on the other side. So Gabumon and I left, with the promise to return quickly. Circumstances had prevented that.

            We left our boat on the opposite shore, tucked under a cliff that we began traveling up…by a nearby road, though I suppose I could've scaled it had I not been pedaling my legs off. You were absolutely no help with that damn boat, Gabumon. 

"Is it _my _fault I was not blessed with the same long-legged lithe figure as you?"

"More like chicken-legged," Koushiro muttered from the computer, of course loud enough for the others to hear.  

Yeah, yeah, shut up, Izumi. We found ourselves outside a restaurant, aptly named Restaurant, and from within came the sounds of dishware breaking and horrible screaming. 

"This is terrible! The worst food I've _ever _tasted! Another week for you!" 

Gabumon and I made our way inside and sat down at an empty table in the corner.

Gomamon came to wait on us, and that was a depressing sight in and of itself. You've never seen Gomamon lacking energy before, and you don't want to. He explained that he and Jyou had eaten at this restaurant, but for some reason the currency of choice was American tender, and Jyou only carried yen. So they were stuck working to pay off their bill. Not only did Jyou have to work as busboy, but as waiter and chef as well. 

"And Jyou couldn't cook, and kept dropping plates or making mistakes, so with every goof-up they added an extra couple of days to his sentence," Gabumon added. 

            Right. And by that point, he'd accrued enough punishment to be working until college graduation. So Gabumon and I decided we'd go back across the lake, grab Takeru-chan, and come back to help Jyou. But the owners of the restaurant, Vegiemon and Digitamamon, wouldn't let us leave. 

"Since you're friends of this kid, you'll have to work here as well, unless you want your pal peeling potatoes for the rest of his life," we were told. Now we were stuck too. I can cook, and cook well I should add, but these digimon were working for Picodevimon, who was working for Vamdemon…

Hikari and Tailmon shuddered violently at that name. 

…So of course they weren't going to put the one who could cook in the kitchen. No, they had _other _plans for me…

            "Nice set-up, Yamato. I'll take the narration back now," Taichi said smoothly, folding his arms in a superior manner. 

"I was there, why don't I get to narrate?" Takeru asked. 

"Because you weren't part of this. This was a matter between me, your brother, and a couple of digimon who were definitely in for a beating. Let's see…other plans for Yamato…meaning…right, our arrival at that damn restaurant."

Narration returns to the fearless leader. And things turn interesting… 

            We made our way into the restaurant, and it'd been a few days since Gabumon and Yamato were stuck working there. So by the time Takeru and I arrived on the scene, he too was wearing down. Gomamon and Gabumon shuffling around with trays, _that _was a pitiful sight. And then Jyou came out of the kitchen, looking frazzled as all hell. 

"Taichi! You came back! And not a moment too soon, too."

"Jyou, what's going on here? What're you guys doing?"

"And where's Yamato?" Takeru piped up. 

"I'll explain everything. Just whatever you do, _don't order any food. _You'll end up with dishpan hands…or worse."

            Jyou explained everything, his arrival at the restaurant, being used as a kitchen slave, the fact that the accidents weren't so accidental and not exactly his fault, completely omitting any detail regarding Yamato. I wasn't sure if he was doing that on purpose, or if he just wanted to be the center of the sob story. Of course, Takeru wasn't going to go without getting his two cents in. Were you, Keru?

"Of course not! I remember this part. Every time Jyou paused for breath I'd come in with 'what about Onii-chan?' or something to that degree. And then he'd plow on ahead as if he didn't hear me."

"Or he chose to ignore you," Daisuke stated wryly. 

"Most likely the latter," Yamato replied. "Keru-chan _was _on the whiny side."

"Shut up."

"A_hem! _As I was saying…"

            _I _was certainly worried about Yamato. As aggravating as he could be, he did happen to be my best friend, and it goes without saying that you do not let your best friend become some crazy digimon's busboy. Or work a fryulator. So I did what any good commander did, leave Takeru and Agumon with Jyou and go explore around back on my own. It wasn't like anyone was going to catch me, I was too stealthy and…

"Stealthy? With that mop of hair?" Yamato interjected. 

"…Yes. Now let me continue. We're getting to the best part!" 

"For you maybe."

Right, so as I was narrating, I was sneaking around to the back of the restaurant. I had just turned the corner when I practically mowed down a little waitress. 

"A little digimon waitress? Cutie!" Miyako cooed. 

"Not quite."

"What do you mean 'not quite?' Was it or wasn't it a digimon?" she snapped. 

As Taichi was about to open his mouth, Yamato cut in. 

"I'll take it from here. You can have it back in a few minutes."

We have now crossed back to the Yamato side of things. And the interesting parts continue…

            I had been out back when Taichi and Takeru came, over by the potato crates. I wanted to throw up…actually I wanted to die, but throwing up was the closest I could get. I had lost my…Miyako, I'm going to say _dignity, _so stop giving me that look…no, Miyako, I'm positive I hadn't lost my virginity…all right, then. I had lost my _dignity _to an egg on legs and a rutabaga, and, no offense, Taichi was the last person I wanted to see at the time. I was sure he'd laugh. It hadn't been my choice; I would've been happy slaving over a rice cooker in the kitchen and fighting with Jyou over the fact that he dropped _everything_. But they somehow knew just the right way to twist the knife handle, and got me to do whatever they wanted. I was making my way back inside, through the back entrance, to the kitchen. I figured I had five minutes to myself before that godforsaken Vegiemon came after me again, which was just enough time to grab a meat cleaver and julienne slice my wrists. No such luck. Taichi was there, and I knew he was looking for me. But did he recognize me? He seemed confused. 

            "You…came back," I managed to choke out. I wasn't going to cry. I don't cry in front of anyone. Ever. All right, there was that _one _incident with the cliff and File Island, but that doesn't count. He continued to stare at me, seeing only the outward appearance. 

"Taichi?" 

He continued staring, contemplating, wondering. And then, brilliant clarity. 

"_Yamato?!"_

I shifted uneasily, bringing my hands down to the hem and tugging hard. Damn dress only came to mid-thigh, and the puffy sleeves were constantly a bother, and the ruffled apron was an aggravation, and the whole damn thing was _pink_. 

"Taichi, please stop staring at me. I…"

He practically jumped me at that point! I had to fight him off, slapping at him as he…

"Now wait just a god damn minute! I was _not _jumping you!" Taichi cried indignantly. 

"You did too! You were trying to freaking _grope _me!"

"No I wasn't!"

"You had your _hand _in my _skirt!_ You were definitely trying to…"

"_MY MIND! IT BURNS!" _Miyako shrieked, clutching her head and writhing. Iori looked a bit greenish. Takeru and Hikari were bright red, wondering how in the hell they ended up being related to the two young men they now refused to call brothers. Koushiro had gone back to ignoring them. As for Ken and Daisuke, they were listening to their elder mentors in rapt awe. All right, so it's a bit sick at this point, but rapt awe. 

"I'm taking the story back! So there!" 

"Fine, go ahead."

Taichi owns narration at this point in the game. I hope you're all following this. Some of it is part of the story, other parts is interrupted dialogue. Can you tell the difference? Good! 

                  Well, whatever Ishida just said was definitely not true. I came around the corner, he came around the corner, and we stared at each other for a few minutes. 

"You…came back."

I grinned. "Nice dress."

Yamato practically started sobbing, latching his arms around my neck. It's times like these when it's good to be the leader. 

"You rotten _liar! _That did not happen! You pinned me against a wall and tried to feel me up. The only reason you're not gonna own up to it is because you'll look bad in front of the kids."

"We're not kids," Daisuke stated indignantly. "Well…except for Iori."

"Hey!"

The elder blonde grabbed Taichi by the hair and started pulling. "Admit it!"

"All right all right all _right!"_

            …So maybe I did try to fool around with Yamato. But you gotta understand, he looked really cute in that dress. Pink's a good color on him. And…I was starting to develop a killer crush on him at that point. Yeah, so after he decked me in the jaw we sat down by the potatoes and he explained everything. 

"…They said that if I didn't cooperate they'd hurt Jyou and the digimon."

I frowned. "You're taking orders from a couple of side dishes? Why didn't you just sic Garurumon on them? I put you in charge and leave for what, ten minutes? And I come back and find everybody's split up, Takeru's left all by himself and you're…"

"Takeru! I wanted to go back and get him, but those bastards said Jyou could have a 'nasty accident' while I was gone."

"Ishida Yamato, I have never seen you back down from anyone! How is it you're intimidated by salad toppings?!"

I think I crossed a line or two right there. 

"I was _scared, _Taichi! All right? You think that I can just assume command after I watch my best friend disappear, knowing that I might have been able to do something other than just stand there and stare?" he snapped, fists clenched around the frilly white apron. 

              Yup. Definitely crossed a line or two. 

"You were scared?"

"Yes, Taichi, I was scared. We didn't think we'd see you again, and then Sora left and Mimi, Jyou and Koushiro. When it was down to just Takeru and me I lost hope. I stopped eating, wouldn't sleep, Taichi I've been a wreck since you were gone. You don't realize just how much I need you."

He realized what came out of his mouth and started blushing heavily. And damn is Yamato cute when he blushes. 

            "What?"

"…Nothing, Taichi, nothing."

I grinned at him. "You like me, don't you?"

"I…um, well…"

"Hey! Where's that leetle waitress? I don't enslave you cheeldren for nothing! Get out here, or there'll be another nasty accident in the keetchen!"

Isn't that a nice interpretation of Digitamamon's terrible accent? All right, so that's his dub voice…but I think the original voice was just as horrible. 

            "I'll show that damn egg a nasty accident. Enough is enough."

He started back towards the kitchen entrance, stumbling on his heels. Yamato turned back at me and grinned. 

"Wish me luck, Taichi, cuz I'll probably need you and Agumon to bail me out otherwise."

"Wouldn't have it any other way!"

And at that point I decided to throw caution and my parents' homophobic drillings to the wind. As Yamato went up the stairs, I darted over and kissed him on the cheek. 

"For luck."

Narration now resumes its original third person status. And Yamato has pants on again. 

            "Then what happened?" Daisuke asked excitedly. 

"Nothing spectacular," Yamato replied with a bored statement. 

"Yeah. Yamato threw a fit, the evil digimon got hostile, Takeru was taken hostage and almost died for the umpteenth time, Yamato threw another fit, his Crest of Friendship started glowing, Gabumon digivolved to Weregarurumon, we got out of that damn restaurant, hopped in those swan boats, and took off to find everybody else," Taichi listed. 

"And at any point in that did Yamato get out of the dress?" Miyako asked in her usual nasal voice. 

"Right after the first fit and before Takeru was being used as a stress-release squeeze toy."

"My ribs were never really the same after that one," the Gilligan hat-wearing Chosen put in. 

            Iori, looking completely bored and wondering why this was even called Taito when there really wasn't any Taito, glanced over at Koushiro. 

"Is it fixed yet?"

"Nope. It's going to take quite some time before it's done," he stated, still clacking at computer keys. 

"Enough time for another couple of stories, right?" Agumon asked.

The neo-Digidestined…save Daisuke and Ken, who were enjoying themselves, looked stricken. 

"No! No more!"

            "Really? I have one that nobody's heard before," Yamato stated, leaning back in his chair. "Not even Takeru."

"What you talking 'bout, Onii-chan?" 

"I don't know, you said you didn't want to hear anything else."

"Well you baited us with that, so you might as well go ahead and tell it," Tailmon sighed. 

"What is it? Something about what happened when you and Gabumon took off into the woods after your betrayal?" Taichi asked. 

The younger kids minus Hikari and Takeru looked confused. "Say what?"

"No, that's a different story. This one happened before Okaa-san and Otou-san got divorced. Actually, they were working on the custody portion of the divorce papers when this one happened…" 

~*~

And that'll segway us into the next chapter. Nicely done, Yamato. Stay glued to this fanfic for more bizarre tales that never really happened…or did they? Apologies to those who thought this was gonna be one of my usual all-out fluff fest of Taito-rific proportions. I just wasn't in the mood. Besides, that doujinshi didn't really have any of that. But Taichi ended up wearing a matching dress in that. I just didn't think Taichi could carry the whole ensemble the way Yamato can. Heheh. Well, review; tell me if you're enjoying this or if I'm just wasting precious summer vacation. 


End file.
